Wrestling with God

"Great is Your faithfulness, oh God; You wrestle with the sinner's restless heart." This is the first line of Matt Maher's "Your Grace Is Enough" as recorded on his "Empty and Beautiful" album. Yes, Tomlin recorded the song first, but Maher (pronounced mar like car) wrote it, and his recording bears his heartprint.

I have long been fascinated by the double entendre (two meanings), in the English translation anyway, of the name Israel, which is translated as "wrestles with God." I don't know if Maher was thinking of Jacob the heel-grabber being renamed Israel the wrestler with God, but my heart immediately goes there when I hear the song.

You ask, "What double entendre?" It is my impression that Jacob enters the match wrestling with God, trying not to lose, and ends up with a new name, a new limp, and a new wrestling partner. Wrestling with GOD, Jacob vs. God, becomes wrestling WITH God, Israel and God vs. the enemy.

Genesis 32 is a beautiful story of someone who has already set his heart to do the right thing, but is scared to death by what he fears will be the result of his obedience. He knows his own history well enough to have good reason to fear for his life.

Today I am looking at a $1,600 tax due bill and a savings account of $300. My natural inclination is to let fear overtake me and begin fighting with God over things like tithing and trusting. But God assures me He is on my side, and nothing is too great for him. He might allow me to have to pay some penalties and interest, but that isn't the end of the world. There are other things on which He wants me to spend my energy. Worrying about this financial crisis is not on God's to-do list for me.

I wrestled against God for over forty years. I am so glad He adopted me and made me a part of Israel, one who wrestles with Him against my true enemy, the deceiver.

Oh, and what about the "sinner's restless heart" that Maher sings about. Is that my heart? In my simplest understanding, a sinner is anyone who misses the mark. When I see where my arrow landed, and I see the bullseye of God's will for me, my heart grows restless. I get angry at myself, or I get angry at God, or I get angry at the world. But God in His love wraps me tightly in His arms like a colicky newborn, sings me a  soothing lullaby, and lets me look deep into His eternal eyes. What was I kicking against? What was I afraid of? Yes, Jesus, I trust you. Your faithfulness, oh God, is indeed great.